Description
We are the Tight Cheeks! Where inner peace comes with a firm posterior.
WIth names like butthead, nickle dime quarter dollar and the boobies, this is not your mother’s “float like a leaf while whispering affirmations” Tai Chi class.
While others are in their little sissy beds, we’re purposely sticking our head in our asses with intense concentration. And when our glutes are sore the next day we’re never emotionally prepared to explain why.
Slip on this tee and suddenly:
Your stance gets lower
Your breathing gets deeper
Your cheeks… tighter
Coincidence?
I THINK NOT.
Crafted from 100% cotton (because enlightenment should still breathe), this unisex classic tee holds its shape better than your bus stop on day one. It sits clean. It looks sharp. It says, “Yes, I move slowly… and no, I am no sissy.”
Layer it with streetwear. Wear it to class. Wear it to confuse strangers at the grocery store.
Either way, the message is clear:
No sissies.
Only balance.
Only power.
Only cheeks you could bounce a quarter off of.
The fine print (because even warriors read labels):
• 100% cotton
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz (aka sturdy, not flimsy enlightenment)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric (yes, it sounds medical, it’s fine)
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double-stitched sleeves and hem because discipline matters
Put it on.
Sink your stance.
Tighten your cheeks.
And thank your Sifu… for being such a pain in your ass!
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
